Today's Short Story: Rain or Shine

There was once an old lady who cried all the time. Her elder daughter was married to an umbrella merchant while the younger daughter was the wife of a noodle vendor. On sunny days, she worried, "Oh no! The weather is so nice and sunny. No one is going to buy any umbrellas. What will happen if the shop has to be closed?" These worries made her sad. She just could not help but cry. When it rained, she would cry for the younger daughter. She thought, "Oh no! My younger daughter is married to a noodle vendor. You cannot dry noodles without the sun. Now there will be no noodles to sell. What should we do?" As a result, the old lady lived in sorrow everyday. Whether sunny or rainy, she grieved for one of her daughters. Her neighbors could not console her and jokingly called her "the crying lady."

One day, she met a monk. He was very curious as to why she was always crying. She explained the problem to him. The monk smiled kindly and said, "Madam! You need not worry. I will show you a way to happiness, and you will need to grieve no more."

The crying lady was very excited. She immediately asked the monk to show her what to do. The master replied, "It is very simple. You just need to change your perspective. On sunny days, do not think of your elder daughter not being able to sell umbrellas but the younger daughter being able to dry her noodles. With such good strong sunlight, she must be able to make plenty of noodles and her business must be very good. When it rains, think about the umbrella store of the elder daughter. With the rain, everyone must be buying umbrellas. She will sell a lot of umbrellas and her store will prosper."

The old lady saw the light. She followed the monk's instruction. After a while, she did not cry anymore; instead, she was smiling everyday. From that day on she was known as "the smiling lady."

(A story from the scripture, as told by Venerable Master Hsing Yun)

"The practice is to train yourself to stop--stop running after all these things.  Even if you don't have irritation, anger, fear, or despair, you're still running with this or that project, or this or that line of thinking, and you're not at peace.  So even (or especially) at those times when you have no problem at all, train yourself to be here, to be relaxed, to stop, to come back to the wonder of the present moment." - Thich Nhat Hanh

What is YOUR World Cup?

As the FIFA World Cup ended on Sunday I cannot help but let my mind wonder.  Watching sports has become a little more difficult for me lately--although I still love them--as I see people living their dream and doing what they love and it makes me wonder why I am not doing that more often.  Although my life is completely perfect in this second, I know there are certain things in life I must do and places I must go.  Those will require risks, but letting them unfold should not cause much mental strain, what they should do is happen easily once I commit.

Seeing all of the teams in the World Cup compete was an absolute joy.  Whether it was a team that did not make it far into the tournament or if it was Germany that won the entire thing, every single team was able to enter the biggest tournament in the World and compete at the highest level.  All of which created a frenzy in their respective countries and made so many millions of people feel the joy of watching their country represented.  Every player on every team got to perform on the biggest stage in the world, under the brightest lights and have an incredible time seeing their hard work come to fruition simply by competing in the tournament.

So, this begs the question:  What is your World Cup?

What are you working on or thinking of working on that you can commit to and when its all over you can say, "This is my dream and I gave it my all."

That is a question I know I need to ask myself more often.  Maybe you can ask yourself the same question and the only advice I could give is to more of the things that you love to do.

What do you Have in Common With the Entire Universe?

Not only ARE you the entire universe, but you share a very important trait that is deep within you that is a reflection of the universe itself: an inherent nature of giving.  In response, it (aka EVERYTHING THERE IS) gives right back.

As you offer help to a friend, you are nourishing the universe.
As you hug a stranger, you are nourishing the universe.
When you breathe slowly, you are nourishing the universe.
When you show patience, you are nourishing the universe.
When you tend your garden, you are nourishing the universe.
When you help support a farmer, you are nourishing the universe.
When you clean your surroundings, you are nourishing the universe.
With every smile you give, you are nourishing the universe.
With every act of kindness you give, you are nourishing the universe.

Just as when you give air on your exhaling breath and you receive air on your inhalation, when you nourish the universe it will nourish you in response.

When a friend helps YOU, the universe is nourishing you.
With a stranger hugs YOU, the universe is nourishing you.
With every drink of water or juice, the universe is nourishing you.
With every hug, the universe is nourishing you.
With light from the sun, the universe is nourishing you.
With the drops of rain, the universe is nourishing you.
With the flow of the rivers, the universe is nourishing you.
As water from those same rivers evaporate and form clouds, the universe is nourishing you.
As the clouds drops its rain again, the universe is nourishing you.
With meditation, the universe is nourishing you.
When every breath, the universe is nourishing you.
With every step, the universe is nourishing you.

You do so much already to help nourish everything outside and inside of you.  There may be ideas that you have to expand your reach and spread that gratitude even further, so go ahead and explore.   Whether it is with a positive attitude or by participating in a particular practice such as meditation or simply by smiling more often to strangers and being a little more patient, go for it. Whatever it is that you choose, the universe will surely reciprocate those feelings.

Please share if you have any ways you feel nourished by all that is within and by all that surrounds.

Enjoy this day, my friends!

5 Steps to Creating the New You

More and more lately I have been fascinated with habits.  What route do you take to work?  What pant leg do you put on first?  Do you ever go out with friends and NOT have a beer?  The list can go on-and-on.

What I am getting at this there are hundreds, if not thousands of habits that we execute daily and most of the time we do not even think about what we are doing.  Now this isn't necessarily always a bad thing because habits can help us become more efficient throughout our day and allows us to get much more done without wasting too much energy.  The only issue I believe with some of these habits is that they become so routine that we feel we cannot break them, thus limiting our belief in our own capabilities.  Not cool, yo.

So lets take a look closer at how habits are formed and what we can do to change them.  According to Charles Duhigg, author of The Power of Habits, with his extensive scientific research it has been found that are three phases that shape a habit.

1.  Cue

There is a cue that starts the habit-forming process.  For example, what is the first thing you do in the morning?  Maybe you head to the kitchen immediately and start a pot of coffee like millions of people do.  The cue here is the act of waking up.  And if you're like me around 7pm at work every night you get hungry (like I do) and want a grilled cheese sandwich (yummmmm).  This is also triggered by the time of day.

Once a cue has triggered, you go straight into some sort of...

2.  Routine

This would be the actual physical or mental act that makes up the habit.  So whether it is getting out of bed and physically walking to the kitchen, or picking up the phone and calling the restaurant to have a grilled cheese sandwich ready for you, this is your routine.

So why do we engage in these routines after a cue sets it off?  Simple.  We are anticipating some type of...

3.  Reward

What are you getting from this routine that you have formed?  Every routine has some kind of reward whether it's emotional or physical.  When you drink that coffee it's the feeling you get after you drink it that is your reward.  When I get a little hungry at 7pm I start to anticipate the cheesy and comforting flavors of a great sandwich.

When we look at forming new habits, we can look at these three phases and begin to play around a little.  Maybe instead of getting up and heading directly to the kitchen in the morning, we set a pair of running shoes right by our bed and trigger a cue for a different routine that will improve our health.   To change the routine of eating too many grilled cheese sandwiches we put some trail mix in our drawer at work (this is working great for me!).  Finally, we can set a reward for starting a new habit also, like a reward of an exotic overseas trip in six months if we stop drinking.

Think cue, routine, and reward.  Changing either of these can result in incredible changes.  A huge step is really looking closer at your day and figuring out what habits you have formed almost without thinking and finding ways to hack the system so you can make some changes.  It's not that what you are doing now is necessarily a bad thing, it's just finding ways to become happier and also to increase the vibration that you are putting out into the universe.

Lets look at one way of changing habits that I will add to this list.  It's a little...

4. Zen trick

There is a teaching in Zen that in order to do something, you simply do it without thinking.  This spontaneity is taught extensively in Zen and in order to accomplish this state-of-mind you need to shut off your rational-thinking mind and start to take action immediately (see previous post).  The rational mind can and will get in the way of accomplishing goals because it can create excuses for EVERYTHING FREAKING THING.  Don't think.  Just GO.

In order to really start changing habits that are deeply ingrained in your life Duhigg adds that you must completely and 100 percent...

5. Believe in yourself

Every single day and every single moment is new.  This very second you are a brand spanking new person. We have formed so many habits and have been told by so many people and ourselves that we are a certain way and there is nothing you can do about it.  I am her to tell you that you are capable of great things and great change.  You can make HUGE changes today that will reshape your health, finances, happiness, and bring more smiles to your beautiful face.

I think what is very important to add is that you are perfect exactly the way you are right this second. Being able to find ways to live a happier or healthier life is just a bonus and adds to the greatness that is right now.

So how we can create the new you TODAY and how can you win a prize?

Figure out what it is that you want to change that you can do just ONCE in 24 hours.

For example:

You want to eat a healthier breakfast tomorrow morning.
You want to run after work tonight (hint: take your running shoes with you to work or leave them by your door).
You don't want to smoke at work today.
You want to work on a project that you have been putting off.
You do not drink soda today at work.

Whatever it is lets simply make it happen even ONE time today.  I want you to see that you are capable of making this change and doing it once is reinforcement that you can do it.

Remember, think cue, routine, reward, Zen, believe.

If you eliminate this habit even once today, I will send you a little treat to your doorstep.  It might be a handmade item, maybe it's a gift card to the coffee shop by your house, or maybe...who knows?  It won't be of great monetary value but I will stick something in the mail for you.

Leave a comment at the bottom of this post on my blog or on the Facebook post this belongs to today about what you will change.  Once you accomplish your one-day goal leave a comment explaining what you did to make it happen.  You have 24 hours from right NOW.

Now lets make it happen!

A Short Zen Story on Flowing Downstream

Although he passed away in 1973, Alan Watts has become a huge influence in my life over the last couple of years.  His seemingly never-ending catalog of lectures posted on YouTube accompany me on many nights of the week and set me up for bed in a very relaxing way.  Since he has such a following, not only are his one-hour to two-hour lectures posted, but there are tons of beautifully produced videos (one of my favorites posted above) filled with dramatic visual displays that rest behind short clips of his insightful, inspiring and soul-awakening lectures. I highly recommend them.

Recently, I came across the video (posted below) titled, "Alan Watts - Zen Tales," where among many others he reveals the following short Zen story:

When in the Zen swordsmanship school, at the beginning of your training the master will have you walk around the house doing various chores on a daily basis.  The master will have a bamboo sword used to make the pain manageable when he surprises you unexpectedly with attacks.  Once these attacks come you are expected to defend yourself with whatever it is you are handling, whether its a broom, pan, cushion, etc.

The dilemma that you find yourself in is that if you go to work everyday looking over your shoulder constantly trying to plan where the next strike will come from, you will find that you will always be outwitted.  The clever master will always have a leg up on you as he will always find a way to come from an unexpected location.

The student will eventually come to a conclusion that the constant planning and looking over his shoulder is not the solution.  He will learn that the necessity of spontaneity in fencing is that if he has to stop and think about how he is going to respond to a certain attack, it is too late. Instead, the best outcome is to quit planning, focus on his chores mindfully, and to react as the attack comes spontaneously.  Once this happens the student starts to walk around nice and relaxed with an attitude that if the master attacks, he attacks.  And once this unexpected hit is delivered the student is at ease, calm, and can react immediately like the sound that comes from two hands clapping.

I notice more and more in my life that when I try to force something it seems to cause nothing but stress and confusion -- not to mention it can be misguiding.  The mental wear-and-tear of forcing prevents me from moving smoothly and naturally throughout my day, however, when I pay more attention to my breath and moving through situations based on feel and less to my rational thinking, it allows my intuition to surface which guides me down the path of least resistance. Zen masters will call this flowing downstream.

Flow downstream today.

By Stephen DeMent

5 Easy Steps to Sustaining Positive Energy Throughout Your Day

By Stephen DeMent

For some time now I decided that when I wake up in bed I wanted to take a deep breath to ground myself once I awoke.  This immediately starts my day off in a mindful state that brings me into the present moment.  This has been huge for me.

Recently, I found another tip to add to my morning breath that has produced incredible results.  While traveling in northern Thailand and participating in a one-week-long mediation practice, my gracious instructor, Lydia, suggested starting the day while still in bed with something to be grateful for.  I do this now and also try to use my grateful thought as a mantra for the day.  There are so many things to be grateful for and when I acknowledge them regardless of the time of day it puts me in a great mood, but when I do that in the morning it not only does the same thing but it also sets a happy tone for the day that carries over into the afternoon and beyond.

We all know that at any given time in the day we can be faced with challenges that can compromise our mood.  For myself, my "monkey mind" can get going and thinking of things in the past or the future and just try to ramble on.  Being aware of when this is happening and taking a breath or revisiting my daily mantra helps get me back on track.

Yesterday I decided that I am grateful for the emotion that we call love.  Today I am grateful once again for all of my friends and family.  So thank you all for being a friend (even if I haven't met you yet).

One top of what I just discussed, I have added a couple more ideas that may help you stay positive on a daily basis:

1.  While still laying down once you wake up in the morning, take a nice deep breath to ground yourself in the present moment. You're alive and have another day to live on the gorgeous planet.  Rejoice.

2.  Choose something for the day that you are grateful for.  There are countless reasons to be grateful everyday.  Choose one of them.

3.  Do a very short workout right after you get out of bed.    Usually I will do some push-ups and sit-ups right almost immediately when I get out of bed.  Even a couple of each will you get moving and feeling great. After doing this for not even a month, I saw tremendous physical results, improved posture and simply felt great.  Find out what works for you.

4.  Eat a healthy breakfast.  Or at least a semi-healthy breakfast.  Adding some herbs, vegetable or fruit to whatever you normally eat can make you feel better immediately and can be the start of the new healthy-eating you.

5.  Be aware.  Now that you are doing a list of great things to keep you in a great mood throughout your day you should be feeling good.  That being said, distractions will arise daily.  When this happens, come back to your breath and acknowledge what it is that you are so grateful for and you can find that positive attitude once again.